Suicidal Tendencies

I was beaten. For the first time since I have come to this place they used the goad on me. I do not know if I was punished for breaking the cup or the damage that I did to my hands and my chest. The cuts are not deep. My hands are the worst. But I was proud to wear my own blood. I painted myself with it as a statement. I am Ici. I am Red Savage. I am a man. In my pain I will remember. By the scent of my blood my ancestors will live again in my memory.

I will stand tall.

I am Ici.

They washed my body of blood. They bandaged my hands. They washed the markings from my cheeks. But I remember them. I feel them still.

I was hooded and taken to the arena again. Again I felt the press of people. Many people. I smelled the women. And I waited.

I waited until they loosed the chains and took off my hood. I waited until I was turned loose within the sands to fight and then I ran. I leapt out from the pit and I grabbed the railing. I am lean and strong and I hauled myself up and over and I grabbed a woman tearing her veils from her face and I had ripped her robes down revealing her full breasts when her guards grabbed me. They had to pry my hands from her throat for I was going to strangle her. This then was what I was waiting for. This was what I had planned for. Now I would kill them or they would kill me. I did not care which.

My move had not been expected. It was the only reason I got as far as I did before the guards laid their hands on me. Of all the things I could think of to incite their jealousies and rage it was to attack one of their women. Surely they would kill me.

It worked.

Only not as well as I had hoped. I landed a few good hits before they were able to separate me from the woman. They were too afraid to hurt me then for fear of killing her in the process. I know I hurt one of them badly before the other drove his sword through my chest and another clubbed me unconscious. My last thought was that I was going to die. And I was happy. I had been killed by the sword of a free man protecting his woman.

It was something I could respect.